AFTER HER KIDS, THERE’S NO DENYING THAT LUKE DANES IS THE BEST THING IN HER LIFE. without him, she wouldn’t smile as much as she did. she wouldn’t make thousands of jokes at his expense. she wouldn’t have a son. maybe that’s why she did it —– because luke deserves to be a father. lorelai had been given her chance, with rory. she’d raised her all on her own, and everything had been okay —— there was no doubt in her mind that liam will turn out perfect with his dad there to guide him. her son will have a dad, and two big sisters, and a grandmother. he’ll be fine. and luke will be, too —— eventually. luke will be fine. rory will be fine. her mom will be fine. but lorelai? lorelai won’t be fine. she can already tell.
it’s funny —— she’s always LOVED winter. it’s her favorite time of year. everything’s beautiful, and she gets to wear really cute clothes. she’s always loved winter ——- but she knows her family never will again. to her, it almost feels right. poetic. she’s always liked poetry, too. the way things come together to form something cohesive and beautiful. today isn’t beautiful, she knows that, but she feels peaceful. sure, she’s in pain. sure, she hates seeing the look of absolute anguish on her husband’s face. there’s something at her very core, though, that tells her that everything will be okay. all she has to do is sleep and everything will be fine ——- she’ll stop hurting, everything will be clear. clear and bright and perfect, just like her favorite kind of days.
but suddenly she’s not so peaceful. suddenly she realizes that she doesn’t want to go. she doesn’t want to leave her family. she doesn’t want to miss watching her son grow up. she doesn’t want to miss luke being a dad, or rory being the best big sister. and there are tears in her eyes as she looks at luke, her hand holding to his as if it’ll somehow make her okay ( she’s holding to his hand for DEAR LIFE ).
her chin trembles, lip quivering as she lets out a sob. god, the look on his face —— she wishes she weren’t the reason for it. she wishes it would go away, but it won’t. she’s fading fast, and they both know it. she’s fading fast, and as soon as she’s gone, she knows luke will feel so much worse.
“i’m SORRY,” she manages to choke out between sobs, “i just wanted liam to have a dad,”
and it’s only moments before her hand goes limp.
stop being heroic lorelai i s2g || @ldcnes || not accepting bc this killed me to write